We’re closing in on Spring here in the northern hemisphere, and although there’s still snow on the ground many places, in the city center of Oslo, the ground is mostly bare and dry, and the temperatures are above freezing, so that’s a step in the right direction. Although I don’t mind winter and the snow, it’s always nice when nature begins to come back to life, and plants start to grow. I guess we’re a little ways off that still here in Norway, yet the days are getting lighter and the very early signs are there.
Pisces season is just around the corner, which means the final stretch of the astrological year is upon us, and it’s a time of endings in many ways. In the last couple of years I’ve felt a strong shift around the time of the Spring Equinox, when the astrological new year begins, and I’m curious to see if this year will be the same. It appears that with the powerful astrological events taking place in March, Saturn changing signs from Aquarius to Pisces being one, and Pluto moving into Aquarius another, that may very well be the case this year, as well. But we’ll see. I have definitely been experiencing a shift in energy already in recent weeks. It feels like I’m getting closer to releasing some deeply entrenched wounding around my self-worth and the effect that has had on my relationship to men, so I’m crossing my fingers that I’m nearly there…
In fact, this wounding was brought to my attention again in a recent experience I had. It coincided with this issue I’ve been having on and off with my throat, and I began to think that maybe the two were related. I got a cold in December, and although I recovered from the worst of that pretty quickly, I had a lingering cough that went on for weeks in the aftermath. It occurred to me that I seem to be having issues with my throat quite a lot, even when I’m physically well, I tend to get a lot of mucus in the throat, and I have this bad habit of clearing my throat a lot because of it. Not a good thing in general, but especially not if you’re a singer. So I began thinking about whether I may have a general weakness in my throat area, and what the underlying cause of that may be.
And when I, just after having recovered from my lingering cough, ended up getting a pesky throat infection, I was more or less forced to dig deeper and address this issue head on. My first thoughts on the matter were around how the throat chakra can be related to my issue. The throat chakra is an energy center located, as you may have guessed, in the throat, and psycho-spiritually it’s associated with how we express ourselves in the world. When healthy, we express our truth in a straight-forward manner, we’re authentic and honest, and express (often creatively) who we truly are with no apparent inhibitions. This expression of course, must come with a sense of responsibility, as just blurting out truths left, right and center may not always be the best way to go about it, as we may end up hurting people, get some enemies etc. On the other hand, holding back too much, and being afraid to express ourselves fully and speaking honestly to people is also not good, and it’s in the latter category where my issues have mostly been.
I suppose it’s not so surprising that this issue would come to the forefront these days, as I’m in the process of taking some bolder steps when it comes to my work in the world, to express myself more fully, and fears and blocks that I have around that are bound to be triggered. So I believe part of the issue with my throat is related to that, and this throat infection was an opportunity to dig a little deeper and see where some of my fears may be coming from. So as this infection was raging at its worst, I felt I needed to take some steps to care for it and address the issues more radically. The issue of self-love also comes in here, one that I really feel is at the root of all this work that I’m doing, to learn to love myself more, and connect deeper with the love within, and also to clear out any blocks standing in the way of that. So one of my moves was to take physical steps, and I began to care for my throat using natural supplements and essential oils, especially thyme, but also others, gargling with salt water and thyme, massaging my throat etc. My other move was to go into my body and talk with the infected cells, to see what they had to say about the matter…
This latter approach is something I was taught as part of becoming a vibrational healer, and is something I offer as a service to my clients, in order to get to the root of physical problems, as they relate to more deep-seated emotional issues and past traumatic events. I don’t negate that physical problems can have physical causes, yet my experience shows me that we often find other underlying factors when we go a little deeper. And when I began to talk to my throat cells, and explore what was really going on, I definitely did get some answers. Some past lives showed up where my livelihood was destroyed (one was as an apothecary) because of jealousy from others, so I got the message that it’s not safe to pursue your dreams in life, something will always happen to take it away from you. Although this isn’t true, of course, it’s often how our ego responds to traumatic experiences, and try to protect us from doing something it deems “unsafe” again. So forgiving and transmuting these experiences are important to move on and move forward with our dreams.
The second issue was more directly tied in with my self -love and self-worth issues, and how they have expressed themselves in my relationship with men. It has come to my attention over and over in my own healing process, that I have had a tendency to do, or be tempted to do things that I really don’t want to do (such as have sex with men, but not only that), as a part of me (the wounded part), seems to have some trauma around the fact that if I don’t, I won’t be loved. Due to me not getting the love and care from my mother that I needed in my childhood, and also past lives where I was severely sexually traumatized, a pattern emerged where I felt I needed to compromise my own needs and wishes to be and feel loved. As I am untangling and healing this particularly, deep-seated wound, I found that I have a tendency to give men the impression that I’m interested in them, just so that I can hold on to their attention a little longer, even though I know I am not really all that keen. This holds true for purely potential sexual encounters also. I’m not particularly interested in casual sex, yet I may still play along for a bit, just for the sake of feeling wanted. This is pretty f*cked up behavior though (pardon my French), but thankfully I could fully see it in my most recent encounter, so that I can release that for good.
I realize I’m being quite open in this post to the point of revealing things about myself that aren’t particularly pretty, and I must admit it’s quite uncomfortable to do so. Yet, I find we need to be brutally honest with ourselves and our behavioral and thought patterns, if we are to truly heal. So I’m sharing these examples from my own life so that you will know what it really takes. But before this post becomes a book, I will wrap things up. As the title suggests, I also wanted to show how physical ailments can tie in to our overall healing process, and to encourage you to go a little deeper and explore potential underlying traumas/emotional issues if you have any physical maladies. It doesn’t take away from medical treatments of course, but can still be a nice supplemental approach. And I do offer sessions for this, so if you think you would prefer to be guided by someone more experienced in these realms, feel free to contact me.
So I hope I have given you some things to ponder here, and wish you all the best on your healing journey. And as always, send you much love & light!
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