Another weekend is upon us, and as we’re coming off the heels of the Pisces Full Moon and Mercury going retrograde, we have been invited to go within to reflect, as well as connect with our inner guidance and intuition. And since the full moon is a time to release whatever may no longer serve us, things may have come up for us to look at and let go of. That has certainly been true for me, as I had some things come up around my propensity to give away too much of my energy to others, behaving in a manner that I think will please others, as opposed to listening within and doing what is right for me. I found that I have stretched myself a little too far in certain areas, and felt the need to come back to myself, clear out any foreign energies from my field, and reconnect with my higher self.
What brought this realization about was something as simple as an invitation from friends to join them on a vacation to the Mediterranean, and although the idea of going away to enjoy some sun, sea and relaxation was tempting, there was something that stopped me from saying yes, and layer by layer I had to uncover what it was. On the surface there was the issue of money, and also being on sick leave for the moment, that complicated things, yet when I started digging a little deeper, that wasn’t the real issue. Having difficulty saying no is perhaps one issue I need to work on also, but that in itself wasn’t it either. In the end I realized that it helped me to see how I have been allowing my own boundaries to flounder, and if I didn’t rein myself in, I could lose myself in the process.
For a while now I have been doing little things that I may not have been fully comfortable with, in various areas of my life, and although they weren’t really big things, when adding them all up, I realized they brought me away from my own core self and who I truly am deep down. I suppose I was thinking to myself that it wasn’t a big deal, that I could do all these things to please others, to not “be difficult” or “rock the boat” etc., but in the end that just wasn’t good enough anymore, as it got to the point that I didn’t feel I like I even know who I truly am anymore. As if my own likes and dislikes, desires and aversions, blended into other people’s ideas and desires and I didn’t know anymore what was mine and what was theirs.
Realizing the core of an issue is often half the battle, and now that I had finally seen the real problem, what to do about it became the next step. Going on a trip and live together with 3 other people, who would of course want to go out and have fun, when all I wanted to do was to be alone and rest, didn’t seem like a good fit, and so I said no to the trip and stayed home. A decision I do not regret. But that of course was not enough to remedy everything. I realized I needed to clear my energy field and began doing daily meditations to clear away foreign energies from my field, as well as take back my own energy that I had given away to other people, ideas and things. In addition, setting stronger boundaries is an ongoing battle that I just have to get better at…
Boundary setting has never been my strong point, but I realize now that I have got to learn to be more ruthless in this area. It really comes down to how much I value and love myself, which has to be fully and completely, if I am ever going to become the person I want to be, or said in others words, who I truly am deep down. Our higher self is the part of us that is connected to Source, and is our soul, our true self. That part of us is always whole, and is our inner source of power and love. I have begun connecting to this part of me in meditation this past week, and the beautiful energy and power I get from that is actually quite extraordinary. I have felt cut off from this part of myself until recently (mainly due to a past life in Egypt where traumatic circumstances caused me to cut off my connection to my higher self), but it is such a beautiful experience to be able to connect to my higher self once more.
Connecting to our higher self is also to connect to our inner guidance, and feeling into what we need at any given time. Although I am the kind of person who likes to be active and take steps to move forward in life, sometimes my inner guidance tells me to slow down and rest. I often struggle with that, as I feel like I need to take steps to move forward, create music, work on my business etc. and although I do those things too, I need to be reminded at times that to move forward in life and work it is just as important to slow down and rest from time to time. Balance is important, and never a better time to be reminded of that as we approach the September equinox, and the shift to Libra season, which is all about that very topic: finding our balance.
So I will continue to work on my balance and boundary setting, so that I can find my way home to myself and strengthen that connection to my soul and higher self. I hope that this post will inspire you to do the same, and if you have any areas where you need to set stronger boundaries and find your balance and your own truth, I encourage you to go for it!
With that I wish you a beautiful day, and as always send you much love & light!