After some really strange and varied weather, shifting from rain to sun and back again and sometimes both at the same time, it seems like we’re finally experiencing some stable, nice, warm and sunny days here in the capital of Norway. As I write this new blog post, I have ditched my usual coffee shop for the beach, enjoying some saltwater, sand and sun. As I feel a bit tired and emotional today, I feel it’s just what I need to ground, heal and uplift myself, cleansing and releasing some heavy energies. Nature really has all the things we need to heal, and often we don’t even realize it.
Earlier in the week we had the June solstice, and the sun also moved into Cancer season the same day. With this particular solstice there was a lineup of planets in Aries, what’s called a stellium, where the moon, Jupiter, Mars, Chiron and Eris all joined up, creating a powerful fiery energy conducive to healing the inner masculine, as I interpret it. In fact, various experiences and synchronicities have recently guided me to look a little deeper at my inner masculine, as I’m realizing that I have some work to do to strengthen this aspect of myself.
So what does it mean to heal the inner masculine, you may ask? There are of course many ways to approach that question, but I have come to understand that the ascension process, both personally and collectively, is very much centered around the healing of the wounded feminine and masculine aspects of ourselves and in society (and we all have both regardless what biological gender we are). The masculine energy is very much associated with warrior energy, and has to do with taking action in the physical world, and reaching our goals through focus and discipline. Another just as important aspect though, is that of protection, and I feel the highest aspect of the masculine is when the warrior aspect is used with love, becoming a protector of what is good and just in the world.
This protector energy comes into play in our relationship to ourselves, and as many of us may have experienced, myself included to some degree, is that we may not have had the protection of a fully integrated parent in our lives, and so we need to become our own protector, by invoking our own inner masculine. This means protecting ourselves (our inner child, if you will), by setting clear boundaries, saying no when we need to, and not do things just because we want to be accepted, to be liked, or to be loved. This can often be easier said than done, in my experience…
The ascension process has a tendency to bring you into situations in order for you to see your own patterns and wounds clearly, so that you can work on them until you master them. When it comes to protecting myself and my own energy, I still have some issues to work out, I have come to realize. But I’m taking steps. As a woman and healer, it is quite common to want to help others, but often forget yourself in the process. I have been as guilty as any other when it comes to this, but have taken many steps, especially at work lately, in order to set boundaries for myself. In fact, I have even taken the step to take some sick leave right now, because I feel that I need to focus on my healing, and I got to a point at work where I kept pushing myself until I felt I had nothing left to give. Taking charge of my own healing by seeking out some healers and therapists is another way my inner masculine is at work in my life these days.
The twin flame journey, and your relationship to your twin is often where your deepest wounds show up, and when it comes to respecting and protecting myself as a woman I still have some things to learn. That has come up several times in my connection to my twin, but also in other relationships. A recent connection to a man showed me that I still have to learn to love myself enough to say no to certain things (such as sex) until it feels like the right time (and with the right person). Someone I follow on Facebook wrote a post recently that really hit me. In essence she wrote that it was important to invoke your inner masculine to protect yourself in relation to men, and to not give up your body until a man has conquered your heart. This really struck me, and I realized I haven’t done that fully, but that it’s time to embrace this notion more than ever.
Although I have never been a woman to sleep around a lot, and have been protective of my body in many ways, I have had a bit of a blind spot when it comes to men that I have felt a strong connection to, on a soul level. This includes a couple of karmic encounters, but also my twin. Because of this connection it seems that something within me justified sleeping with these men, because my need to feel loved and wanted (my wounded part, anyway) won out over the part of me that felt that something wasn’t right about it. Yet, having these experiences also showed me the issues I have around this, so even if it perhaps wasn’t right from one perspective, I needed to experience it to see where I need to work on myself. Now that I have seen this pattern in myself, though, I feel better equipped to deal with this particular situation in the future, and I hope that I have healed my inner masculine enough to be make better choices and protect my own inner child in a better way.
I share quite openly about my experiences (perhaps a little too openly, some may argue) in the hope that those with similar experiences may discover their own disempowering patterns, and take steps to resolve them, just as I am doing. So if you recognize some of these patterns within yourself, and can stand to strengthen your boundaries and your inner masculine a little, let this post be a reminder for that, and invoke your inner protector and masculine self, that we all have within us. You may even personify him and give him a name, if you wish. I feel called to name my protector Michael (as in the archangel Michael), and I will call on him when I need the strength to set solid boundaries of love and protection.
With that I sign off for today, and wish you all the best in exploring your inner masculine protector!
As always, I send you much love & light,