Since I last wrote we have entered into a new year, and we’re already a few weeks in. Personally, I felt an energy shift as we moved into 2022, in a positive way. I felt so much light, that seems to be holding and just getting stronger so far. I think that is partly because of where I’m at in my own process, too, as I feel lighter and lighter all the time. I’m still clearing and healing quite a bit, but it doesn’t really feel so heavy anymore, like it used to. Whenever things pop up to be cleared, I can move through it very quickly now. Although a lot seems to be coming up, so things still feel a little crazy, as though the lighter I feel the more my healing is speeding up. But it’s good, and I feel more and more stable in a higher vibration, which is amazing!
We had a full moon in Cancer earlier in the week, which I felt quite strongly, perhaps because of my own moon sign being in Cancer, I don’t know. Anyway, the energy build-up began Sunday night for me, where I felt a bit emotional, brought on by the usual twin flame stuff, things I’ve gone over many times, so nothing new there. But then I felt called to go deeper, and I got in touch with my inner child, as well as all the other children I have been in my past lives, where I suffered or was not treated well for one reason or another. I felt called to hold them all, so I visualized that, and kept them all in a loving, protective embrace for quite some time. Then all of a sudden I felt my solar plexus chakra opening up, and all this energy was released. I could feel energy flowing through that chakra, and also out to the heart and my entire body. The whole experience was very healing and I felt so much peace afterwards.
I was a bit surprised that of all the chakras it was the solar plexus chakra that was opened up by me holding my inner children. I guess I’m so used to working within the heart chakra most of the time, and I do feel it is the most important one and our foundational chakra, since that is where our connection to love is. I also feel that the heart chakra is strongly linked to our inner child, so to have the inner child experience affect the solar plexus chakra so much was a surprise. However, after giving it some thought, I came to the conclusion that since the solar plexus chakra is linked to our masculine self, and that the embrace brought on a sense of protection for my inner children, I feel that it awakened and healed that part of my inner masculine, and that my inner child could now feel that it is protected. And that is a feeling that has lingered since. I feel loved and protected, and safer in the world as a result of this healing.
To me this whole experience also ties in with the overarching theme of Venus being retrograde in Capricorn at the moment. Venus is the planet of love, and is very much linked to our heart center, and our sense of self-worth. It centers around our ability to love and be loved, and this includes self-love, as well. Perhaps the most important person that we need to learn to love, is ourselves. Healing our wounded inner child is one way to approach this, as our childhood, not only in this life, but in other lives too, often sets the stage for how much we feel loved and are able to love ourselves. In fact, I feel that my whole ascension process has centered around this topic to a large degree, and is something I have revisited again and again from different angles.
Venus isn’t only the goddess of love, but also the goddess of money, and the things that we value in life. Our ability to attract and generate money into our reality, I have come to understand is also heavily linked to how much we’re able to value ourselves. Our relationship with ourselves and how much we love and value ourselves is often mirrored in our relationship to money. I for one, have never quite been able to master the whole “money thing”. There are many reasons for this. Some of them are rooted in my childhood, and core beliefs that I have picked up from my family, given that my parents often fought about money and how to best manage it. Getting money for school outings and the like could often be a challenge, and the idea that money was difficult to come by, was instilled in me.
The root of some of my money issues can also be found in past lives, where I have seen that my entire holdings were lost at sea, in a life where I was a wealthy merchant, and this completely ruined me and my family in that life. I felt worthless, as a result. Another thing that has been difficult, and where I’ve had blocks is to make money doing what I love to do, that is through music and healing. For a long time I was blocked by the idea that it is next to impossible to do so, or that I didn’t deserve it. Society and well-meaning people often tell you to get a “real job” and stop pursuing a pipe dream, and I suppose I followed that thinking for a long time, although at the same time I never really stopped believing that it was possible. Yet, I was still experiencing blocks, and one of them I tracked back to a past life that I had a long time ago as a witch that took payment for making magic spells to help people get a one-up on their enemies. The spells worked and I was well paid, but when I was confronted with the detrimental way the people on the “losing” end of my spells were affected, I hated myself for it, and felt I couldn’t do any kind of spiritual work ever again, even if it was for good.
As I’ve been healing and releasing my blocks to self-love and money in the past few years, I feel that it’s time to put things to the test once again, and see how far I’ve come. So the fact that this year is starting out with Venus in retrograde (giving us the opportunity to explore blocks to love and self-worth), and in Capricorn (which is a practical earth sign and helping us manifest in a mature manner), helps set the tone for this year for me. I’m determined to take steps to master the money energy better this year, and I have several ways that I’m working on that at the moment. First off, I was offered a permanent position in my job as a care worker, which gives me a good foundation and stability to build from. I’m learning to trade in crypto currency, which I feel will help me understand and handle money in a better way. And I’m also working on building my business as a coach and sound healer, and am putting together a new coaching program in that realm as we speak. So we’ll see how all these things play out throughout the course of this year, but I trust that I will learn a lot and grow in the process, and I trust that the outcomes will be for my best, regardless of what it is.
Learning to take better care of myself (and my inner child in the process), is my theme for this year, which includes taking care of my basic needs and creating more stability for myself. I trust that this Venus retrograde will help set the stage for just that, and I’m excited for what this year has in store for me and for all of us. I hope you have pinpointed some exciting themes to work on this year for yourself, and if not, perhaps now is a good time to reflect on that. With that, I wish you a prosperous 2022, and until next time…
Sending you much love & light!