The Death of the Ego – A Shift from Fear to Love

We’re at the end of May, and in the midst of eclipse season. We had a powerful super blood moon in Sagittarius this past Tuesday, and the energies have been very powerful the last couple of days. Another flood of light energies have been pouring in, and I’ve definitely been on a high. I had some trouble sleeping leading up to the eclipse, as I felt very activated from all the energies, but it’s settling down now. The energies will probably still remain high though, through to the solar eclipse in a couple of weeks, and we may be experiencing some purging both on a personal and collective level in the days and weeks to come. So drink lots of water, take it easy and listen to your own body and what it needs at this time.

On another note, after a pretty cold spring so far, we’re finally having some beautiful and warmer weather here in Oslo, Norway, so I’ve been enjoying the day outside, soaking up some sun. The sun can help activate us also. It gives us vitamin D, and is a symbol of joy, power, health and passion. Honestly, I feel a surge of energy and joy whenever I wake up in the morning and the skies are blue and the sun is shining. Especially here in Norway, where we’re not always spoilt with as much sunshine as certain other places. It definitely helps lift the gloom that has been hanging over us for a while. And I suppose it helps that Oslo is finally beginning to open up from lockdown once again. So everything is coming to life a little bit more in this city.

Our planet is also slowly coming out of its 3D slumber at the moment, and once again we’re seeing things coming up to the surface. More revelations are springing up, and more people are awakening. I feel it’s a bit like coming out of winter, actually, and we can begin to see the sun shining again on our planet, and catch glimpses of what potentials lie ahead for us. As more and more of us move into a higher density way of life, I’m excited to see what we can begin to create for ourselves on this planet, once we shift into the new paradigm of love instead of fear. Fear has been the underlying vibration on this planet for millennia, but not we’re slowly coming out of that. However, as the light frequencies that are pouring in begin to awaken and open our hearts up to new possibilities, they are also clearing out old debris, which may mean that fear may also be triggered to some extent.

In my own ascension process, I have been working on clearing out a lot of old trauma and with that a lot of fear has creeped up to the surface also. One of the deepest wounds that we have all been affected by, both on a personal and collective level, is the fear of not being loved, of not being good enough. It can manifest itself in a myriad of ways, and I myself have been confronted with it a lot in my own process. The twin flame journey has in particular triggered these wounds in me, where I’ve had to look at this in so many ways. My upbringing and incidents in my youth (and later), have contributed to my own feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Traumatic experiences from past lives, and ancestral karma have also lowered my vibration, as it has for us all, and we all need to purge all of this as we’re moving into a love-based world.

Fear and the ego go hand in hand, as our ego is often controlled by fear. Our past experiences, having lived in a fear based world, have brought about patterns of behavior that are very fear based. This is the ego’s way of trying to protect us, however, in doing so, it often keeps us away from what we ultimately seek; love, and feeling loved. In protecting ourselves from pain, from being hurt, we also get cut off from love, but that is what is now finally unraveling for us all. The ascension process is a lot about looking at our own patterns of behavior, our own shadow side, so that we can shift out of unhelpful patterns, and welcome the power of love back in our hearts. It’s amazing to see, looking back at my own journey, how much I used to be controlled by fear, and how much my life experience is changing as more love is brought in and the old patterns are falling away.

At one point in my journey, a couple of years ago, I was very much confronted with my own ego. This was brought front and center primarily by my twin flame. I had observed many things in him that I didn’t like, and that frustrated me a lot, however, through the twin flame mirror, I had a moment where I was forced to look at my own patterns of thoughts and behavior, and could see that I was also guilty of doing all the things that I had been upset at him for. This triggered a huge process of unraveling within me, that literally felt like an ego death. It was very painful, but through this process, I felt my ego being reborn, a bit like the phoenix rising from the ashes. At one point in the midst of all of this, I woke up in the middle of the night, with this feeling of not knowing who I was. It was like my ego was atually dissolving, and although I knew who I was on some level, I just couldn’t feel it, like my personality was gone. I have to admit I was filled with sheer terror, and I remember thinking that this is what it must feel like to go crazy. It lasted for what felt like a while, and I even had to start singing to myself, so that I could hang on to something that would ground me. I remember sending out a sort of prayer, asking why I was experiencing this terror. The answer I got back was that it was so that I wouldn’t have to be trapped in fear anymore. In the end the feeling subsided, and I could feel my personality, my ego, again. However, the experience gave me a deeper understanding of my own ego, of fear and a newfound strength to persevere in my healing process.

Although it can be difficult and scary to go through this ascension process that we’re in, I hope that by sharing my own experience, you’ll know that you’re not alone. If you’re also having similar crazy and deeply transformative, yet painful experiences, know that it’s all part of the process. We’re all going through challenging times, but there’s a reason for that, and will all be worth it in the end. We have to let go of the old ways to welcome in the new. Much of the chaos we’re experiencing on our planet at the moment, is the collective release of what no longer serves us, as we awaken to new ways of being. If you’re struggling and not sure how to deal with it all, I want to encourage you by letting you know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. We’re moving into a beautiful world of more love and light that we could have ever imagined, and I can’t wait until the day when we’re all dancing in the streets, celebrating our ascension to 5D! It’s coming… so keep strong, and keep working through your stuff, as it’s raising your vibration. We’ve got this!

Sending you so much love & light on your journey,

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